10lbs of Pure Butter and Cuteness

Talitha had her 4wk doc apt today and she is 10lbs! She came home from the hospital 7.7. I can't believe how big/fat/and cute she is. It's gone by so fast! She is on the brink of smiling these days. Every once in a blue moon you get one, usually after she eats. I tried to get one in this video, no luck but she's pretty damn cute. We are in her favorite place in the whole house- her changing table. She loves looking out the window and at mr. dragon... Everyone and thing now has a social title preceding their name. Not sure what that's about. I think it's an attempt for mom's to make everything a story in a storybook. I always said I'd never post "lame" pictures or videos of my kid... well lame is subjective and this video is very long and full of 4wk old cuteness. However it comes with a disclaimer; if you are not related or obsessed with my baby, this will be very boring to you. That said let the cuteness roll!

the sweetest and best baby in the world, Talitha Kelsi Osborne

holy smokes y'all! i had me a baby. She is the most amazing thing in the world. She's sleeping through the night (minus the every 3 hrs I wake her up to eat) and for most of the day. And when she isn't sleeping she just looks around all cross eyed and makes the funniest facial expressions. She is so beautiful and cuddly, I want her to stay like this forever!...I could go with out the feedings through the night though... But, she is fabulous! The birth however was so traumatizing, I'm not gonna lie. My epidural wore off in a couple of very key spots toward the end of labor and I experienced the so called "ring of fire". Other than the 2hrs of pushing at the end and the 2 hours of heavy labor before my epidural wore in, it was a great experience. My fabulous husband was perfectly soothing and supportive. He even stopped breathing when I did while I was pushing! I really couldn't have done it without him, or the epidural, or the zofran... Kudos to woman who go w/o meds. I had a wonderful midwife deliver Tal and fabulous nurses. One in particular had the funniest perspective on the event and said things like, "We need to put in this intrauterine monitor to see how strong your contractions are so we can avoid blasting out your uterus with the pitocin". Is that what will happen if you give me too much? Cuz I was curious... And another funny nurse I had was Michael, he was wonderful. He cleaned up my "bag of waters" after they broke it and helped me put on huge mesh underwear and even put in my catheter. The conversation we had while he was putting it in went as follows. Mike- "So do you like to cook?" Me- "I do, I love to make Italian food because you don't have to follow the recipes to the T". Mike-"I love Italian! If I were younger I'd go to cooking school" (Mike is 55). Me-"Why if you were younger, I don't see how being a chef is any more taxing than working crazy long shifts as a nurse?". Mike-"Yes but as a chef you are working over a stove all day". Me-"And here you are working over a..." Do you see the humor in this conversation people? Well Mike and I did and laughed pretty hard, which I don't think helped him with the cathing process... Sorry Mike!
Other than the trauma of birth, it was the most amazing experience in the world, my beautiful daughter was placed on my chest and started to root right away! What a fatty! We all hung out together for 30 mins while I nursed her and David inspected her little body. She is the most beautiful little creature! We are so thrilled with her! More pics and stories to follow! Thank you all for your prayers and patience with me over the past 9 months!

due date shmue date

My temperament whilst writing this entry: pissy. I know that it is very common for first time mothers to deliver past their due date by a week or even two, but like many others before me I assumed she'd come a day or two before. Why, I have no idea, just wishful thinking. I was done around 28wks honestly. Which is when this photo was taken. I've been that huge for a long time. My body is so done. I am happy that she has made it this far. It does please me beyond anything to give birth to a FULL term baby. I remember rejoicing every week we progressed to a level that reduced the risk of immature lungs or other developmental shortcomings. Thank you Jesus for this huge blessing. So I guess my temperament is more: Thankfully Pissy.
Now that I have a little extra time on my hands, I thought I'd blog about something I forgot to a while back; Top 10 worst things to say to a pregnant woman, more specifically this pregnant woman!
Now please people, if you recognize yourself as the offender please do not feel the need to apologize, defend or anything what you have said. These all make me laugh and without them my life would be much less colorful and I'd have nothing to blog about. So own them with pride! I will leave most of these anonymous, however there are some you will be able to figure out, enjoy! Did I mention my temperament...

#10 Oh, I thought you couldn't have kids. (this comment was followed with a bumbling explanation of how he/she assumed because we were adopting that I was broken or something. Nice! Stay out of my uterus!)
#9 Oh, does David have a job yet?
#8 Oh, was it planned?
These two comments were in response to telling people we were having a girl
#7 Three minutes of evil, condescending laughter, that had been building up over the past 26 yrs... -my mother
#6 Oh, are you disappointed?
This comment was in response to telling people her name- Talitha
#5 Oh, really, what about Suzanne?... - can you guess who said this?
#4 Awww, how far along are you?-30wks-WoW! That's a big baby! Grabbing my stomach and then saying, And she's already dropped too, wow you have to be further along than that!...- Some crazy lady in an elevator, I was very scared because I was trapped with this woman attempting to give me her "medical" opinion.
This comment was made to me while I was standing on the big scale at Publix when I was 34wks preg (don't ask why I was doing this)
#3 Oh! "How much did you gain?" me- excuse me? I'm only 34wks but 27lbs so far if you must know. "Oh girl, I gained six total with my 6th child, ha beat that!" ... Made by this crazy woman who was missing 3 front teeth and had about 4 kids trailing begrudgingly behind her. Maybe she would have gained more weight if she had some teeth to eat with... Just saying...
This one is a positive one because I don't want to loose any followers with this depressing blog. It was made in response to saying we were having a girl.
#2 AAAAAAHH!!! I'm gonna buy her a bra and teach her how to shave her legs when she's four, cuz she's Italian, oh and i'll teach her quintillion! followed by 2 more minutes of high pitched squealing!... No other than Aunt Vita!
I wish this were a lie;
#1 Oh really you're pregnant, you probably shouldn't tell a whole bunch of people because the chance of a miscarriage is pretty high in the beginning... Omfg...

Well People there you have it, my grumpy blog post. Hopefully my next one will include a beautiful baby girl as opposed to her mean and evil mommy venting! Is it obvious I am in need of prayer...

Roid Rage

Her nursery is done! Thanks to the magnificently talented and fabulous Ashley Cortese, http://smittendesign.blogspot.com/ I was able to finish decorating Take out's room (this is our daughters nick name). I'm obsessed with the flowers and initials over her crib. Ashley found these amazing flowers at Michaels and she just thumb tacked them to the wall. I love frugal creative design! The initials are also from Michaels. The wire thingy is from Ikea, so is the chandelier and mirror. Those poofy pink and purple hanging thingys were hand made by Ashley for my baby shower and repurposed for my baby room! This room is so calming I hope I can stay awake in here.

These belly pics should be the last, meaning I can not get any bigger than this. I'm maxed out. In fact I even lost two pounds, which I heard is normal for the last couple of weeks. About a week and a half ago, she dropped WAY DOWN and I can now breath a bit better and the heartburn has let up a bit, thank you Jesus! I'm also, as of a week and a half ago 50% effaced and 1cm dilated. Booyah. This baby is coming down the pipe! All in all I have had an extremely healthy pregnancy. No placenta privia, no gestational diabetes, and even no stretch marks (which I'm extremely surprised about)and baby as far as we know is healthy. I thank God for this every day, however, I have had a "hard time" being pregnant, meaning I've had almost every uncomfortable annoying symptom you can get, and to the max. This leads me to why I titled this entry Roid Rage, well as soon as this precious package dropped she cut off all circulation to my...ass, making my tiny, under control hemorrhoid issue an out of control raging burden, the likes of which I had no idea was possible. Some of my close friends/family members have heard the entire story, I will not expound anymore except to say I had no idea they could explode... I knew my pregnancy was unique when I was talking to a fellow mom and said "oh man, being pregnant is crazy, especially when your hemorrhoids explode!?" to which she responded with "umm what are you talking about, I never had hemorrhoids". Me- "me either, I was just kidding, I was speaking metaphorically". Scared Mom- "What are the hemorrhoids a metaphor for?" Me- "umm...your heart that is so filled with blood, i mean love for your baby and desire for her to be born?...". Now totally confused and freaked out Mom- "ok, yeah". Anyway my body is officially ready for her to exit, she has wreaked enough havoc from the inside, I'm now ready for her to do so on the outside. I'm 38.2 weeks pregernant and just waiting for her to come. David and I are freaking out excited to meet her. Oh those weird pics of David are his belly shots I took because I think he was getting jealous of all the attention my belly has been getting. And yes he is wearing my maternity pants because I was in need of a laugh and he obliged! Love you Boo! K hopefully this will be my last post before the bomb drops!!!! Love you all and please keep us in your prayers!

34 weeks pregernant!

This is very exciting! Talitha is almost 5lbs and roughly 18inchs long! Poor little cramped up thing. Her favorite place to store her huge feet is unfortunately in my stomach. I'm getting very anxious for her to come, meaning I want her out of me now. I'm so flipping large. I've gained almost 35lbs and I can't breath, sleep, eat w/o getting heartburn, or lay/sit in one place for longer than 15 min. I know all of these are things that come with the territory and I'm happy to do them for her, but I'm a bit exhausted. I almost had a panic attack when my birthing class instructor said a lot of first time moms don't deliver until week 41 or 42. I along with all the other pregnant women in the class let out a huge groan of sadness and a little vomit when she said this. Well my little baby girl, please come as soon as your lungs are done doing there thing, you've not made this very easy on me, if you stay in there too long I will ground you from seeing your little infant friends.

Two very exciting things; My girls got baptized, and I got taken out on a date!

The first pic is of one of my girls, Diamond. She is very precious to me and just recently got baptized. I drove her to church that morning and felt the inclination to scare her a little so she would realize the severity of her "choice" (in quotes cuz y'all know God choose us, PCA Holla!). I think I said something like; "you know once you do this there's no more playing around. God said He'd spit the luke warm out of His mouth and His punishment for those who KNOW the truth and reject it is much more severe than for those who don't know." Diamonds response; "yeah du!" Alrighty then, let's get you dunked before I hurt you. Anyway, praise God for this miracle!
Another, much less praiseworthy miracle, was I got taken out on a real date with my husband! He took me to Grayton beach, about a 2hr drive from here. During which I read to him our pregnancy handbook given out at our last birthing class, the contents of which I will disclose later-hilarious! We walked the beach and then ate at the marvelous Red Bar! For those who do not know of this place it can all be summed up by the photo of that weird painting where the dude is giving a medieval mammogram to his lady friend. Apparently woman were not aloud to disrobe even in front of doctors back then. Once this rule was abolished the mortality rate dropped significantly. Anyway, this place is awesome, and the weird "artwork" everywhere provides for numerous provocative dinner conversation topics. And the food is fanflippingtastic! After we gorged ourselves we walked the beach again and for those of you who know me well enough to know my spiritual gift (the one where freaks flock to me and say weird weird weird and wrong stuff as if I was there therapist, medical doctor and mother all rapped into one- that spiritual gift)should know that this pregnancy thing has not in any way inhibited my gift. In fact it has strengthened and fortified it. I.e. I was walking out of Walmart and a very nice homeless man yells (I was 2ft from him) "What you got in there?" over and over. I was like "in where... my cart?" Crazy pants replies "What you got in there, Lemme guess, A girl?" Me- "OH! Yeah, it's a girl nice guess!" Crazy pants Mcgee "I knew it! I guessed it! I was right WHOOOOHOOOO!!!!!" and stands up on the bench and starts jumping around like a leprechaun chanting "I knew it! smidle fact inglitthruen", he started to trail off in some unintelligible language. I power walked to my car and thanked God for blessing me with this gift, as it makes me laugh every time. Ok, back to date night. While David and I were walking on the beach some dude, prob on Meth, yaya or whatever drug makes you think in reverse(I'll explain), was like "Hey! Congratulations!.... You are pregnant right?" Me "yeah, thanks!" Dude- "Cool, right, I have a daughter Eve, she's 6". Me- "that's great man, ours is a girl too, her name is Talitha". Dude- "Oh it's a girl?". Me- "yup, I just said that... Ok bye". Dude- "Alright, great well congrats". David- "What's on your shirt, is that radiohead?" You see david does not have this spiritual gift and does not know what the rules are when it's in use, Rule #1 Hold your keys in between your fingers for protection #2 NEVER ASK QUESTIONS THAT ENCOURAGE THE CRAZY TO FLOW. David broke rule #2. The conversation that ensued was too stupid to transcribe and waste your time. This is my burden and I won't burden you with it-That's rule #7. I will say, later on I ran into Dude again and he defiantly touched my belly for way too long and I was forced to run away-rule #5. Ok, seriously though, my date with my husband was wonderful. I realized there won't be many more of these in the near future, or at least ones where we only have ourselves to worry about. I treasured our date night. I love my husband. I love being dated by him and I pray he will aways want to date me.

La casa mia post move in and pre decorate and finish painting and organizing, your welcome.

This is Take outs room. Not painted yet (I bought a purpleish silver), or unpacked, BUT, really cute.
That is her swing that I wish played the song, "down to the floor and let me see your hips SWING" whenever I turned it on.
And the rest is self explanatory.

Talitha is making me into a flipping girly girl

Ok, the first box, she is going to live in those little puffy grey shorts/pants the first yr of her life, b/c they are so flipping cool and I wish I could wear them. The pink skeleton onezie I got for haloween, cuz it's awesome and glows in the dark!!! And those bird things are her sheets!
The second box, has three of the cutest hats I've seen. The two w/ the flowers are from etsy.com (god bless you etsy)And those b-girl shoes are setting the 'cool' bar pretty high for my little girl, but I have no doubt she will rock the snot out of those kicks.
Third box, a really too cute to let her throw up on burb cloth from the fab Mrs. Trashley Jones and the cutest socks every. I think I have a baby foot obsession. Ok these are just some of the things I love looking at in her room when I'm bored. And I'm extremely surprised I'm so giddy over these girly, pink, tiny, glittery, things that before I thought were for ballerinas and cheerleaders... no offense my girly girl followers.

our prego pics!

First of all, my husband is gorgeous. Second I am very pregnant, but I LOVE these pics, taken by the fabulous Rebekah Hood in West Palm Beach Florida. THANK YOU REBEKAH!

I had a fam V-cation!

Here are some really bad pictures of my trip. I also apparently took a vacation from my profession as a photographer as well. We (my dad, sis and bro) went to cocoa beach and 1) went deep sea fishing, and caught nothing, but none of us got sick-bonus 2)went to a pet store, Geoffrey had never been and was underwhelmed- exhibit his face 3)stayed in a cool hotel on the beach and my dad read something from a Russian orthodox bible, and I learned where I get my hand mannerisms from when I talk- exhibit the hand point 4)Kelsi threw a frisbee at Geoffrey's face in the pool really hard and gave him a bloody lip, but he took it like a man, and cried a lot 5)Geoffrey went periodically crazy 6)I got more pregnant and Kelsi got more better hair 7)We went to downtown disney and saw the movie UP in 3D(which was fab and made me cry a lot in the beginning)and learned that geoffrey does not think it's funny to take posed silly pictures with a legendary Irish writer statue. 8)Finally we chilled at the pool and I got a lot more pregernant.